2.5 weeks to go

I cannot believe we only have 2.5 weeks until baby girl is set to join our family. It's crazy to think that....well, there's so many way to say it:
- we will be a family of 4
- a new baby will be in this house
- Carson will have a sister
- Carson won't be the only child in this house
- we will have to learn to juggle 2 kids
- the fact that we will have children...not just a child
- a little girl will be in this house (aka, lots of pink versus all blue and trucks)

I am so very excited to meet sissy (that's what we call her around here). I wonder what she's going to look like. I have to remind myself she won't come out as a talking 3 yr old that looks/acts just like Carson (that would be really weird if she did). She will be her own self, with her own personality, her own likes and dislikes, her own everything!

I can't lie, I am nervous...having 2 kiddos to care for and look after is a scary thing, at least for me. What if they both need us at the same time?? (I say this w/ a bit of sarcasm because yes, I do realize this will happen) I know it can be done...millions of people have multiple children but for 3 years everything has been about Carson. If he needs something, Greg and I are both there, immediately for him.

And, I hate to admit this, but I feel myself feeling kind of sad too. I love that I can give all of my attention to Carson right now. It's going to be different - he's going to have to share his time w/ mommy and daddy w/ this new little thing that will be here soon. How is he going to react? I pray that he feels just as loved once she arrives as he does now. I pray that I can figure out how to split my time between the two and make sure they both feel so extremely special and so loved...all the time.

I know in my heart it will all come together, and we'll wonder how we even made it without her, but until she gets here, these are my fears. I guess it's the fear of the unknown...which I remember feeling before Carson was born. How in the world are we going to manage life with a child, it had always been about us. But now looking back, I wonder what the heck we even did before Carson...we must have been really boring people! :)

Lastly, this is our last (planned) baby. It makes me so sad to know I will never have that feeling again of a baby moving around inside of me. Every time she moves, I do my best to soak up that moment...remember what it feels like to feel a foot push out or her little bottom pushing up. It's the most amazing thing to feel - that's a human being inside of you, growing and developing to soon join you family. So, keep on moving baby girl so I can continue to create these memories with you and then once you get here, we'll be able to create so many more memories together!